I was 38 weeks pregnant with our baby girl. My husband and I were at my last appointment with my OB/GYN, Dr. Miller. As we were getting ready to leave he said "See you on Sunday!" as I was to be induced on Sunday night, January 27, 2019. James and I were nervous, but so excited!
I tried to keep myself busy throughout the week and got as much rest as I could. On Thursday, Jan. 24, just 3 days after my appointment, I noticed I had a voicemail on my phone from Tanner Clinic. The voicemail was from Dr. Miller saying that there was an unexpected death in his family and that he had to fly out to California first thing Monday morning for the funeral. He said that he'd either have to ask one of his colleagues to do my induction, or that we'd have to reschedule. The original plan was to have me go to the hospital on Sunday night to have Cervadil, which is a gel that softens the cervix to prepare for labor. Then early on Monday morning, Dr. Miller would come in and break my water, I'd get an epidural, and then they'd start me on Pitocin. But I really didn't want any other doctor doing this except Dr. Miller. Legally, Dr. Miller could not induce me until I was 39 weeks pregnant. I would be 39 weeks on Saturday, Jan. 26 which is why we had scheduled everything for literally the very next day.
I called his office back and left a voicemail saying that I'd rather just reschedule but since technically I would be 39 weeks that Saturday, if there was any way he could induce me then. The next day (Friday), my husband and I ran some errands together as I anxiously awaited the call back from Dr. Miller's office wondering when I was going to be having my baby. The call came around 3:30 that I was to be to the hospital that very night at 7:00. I was so excited!
James and I arrived at the hospital a few minutes before 7:00, and checked in. I changed into a hospital gown, got an IV, and was asked a few questions. The nurse then checked me to see how dilated I was (a whopping 1cm. 😒). Then the nurse inserted the Cervadil which hurt like crazy.
The rest of the night, James and I watched TV and tried to get some rest.
When it comes to pain, I have an insanely low pain tolerance. If I get something as small as a papercut, I think I'm dying haha. I'm seriously the BIGGEST WIMP when pain is involved. I had let Dr. Miller know this a few weeks before when he asked if I was planning on and/or wanting to have an epidural. My response was "give me ALL the drugs". He laughed at this, but then I explained that I really didn't do well when I was in pain. He said he'd make sure that I was as comfortable as possible.
Throughout the night I was having the worst cramping. I couldn't get sleep because I was in so much pain. When the nurse came in to check my vitals, I let her know that I was in pain and she gave me a pain pill and a sleeping pill which helped immensely.
It was now Saturday, January 26, 2019. Dr. Miller had already been at the hospital delivering another baby down the hall. He came into my room around 5:00 AM to break my water.
HOLY. MOTHER. IT HURT!!!!
If I'm in pain, I usually don't cry. The only time I cry is if I'm REALLY hurting. I was definitely crying when he broke my water. AND I was only dilated to a 2 at this point...
The nurse anesthetist came in and introduced himself. When he saw how much pain I was in he asked the nurse "when are you planning on starting the Pitocin? Should I just stick around for a few more minutes to give the epidural?" But I wanted to know what a REAL contraction felt like so I told him that I wanted to wait for a little while. After all, I was only dilated to a 2.
6 Minutes. I was on Pitocin for 6 minutes (and had 3 "real" contractions) before I was telling the nurse that I wanted the epidural.... NOW. If this doesn't show how low my pain tolerance is, then I don't know what will.
The epidural wasn't too bad. After the epidural kicked in I literally couldn't feel anything below my waist. It was awesome!
My mom came to the hospital around 10:00 and was watching the monitors with my husband. I was dilated now to a 5 but it seemed that with every contraction I was having, baby girl's heart-rate would drop. Dr. Miller came in and said that this was something to be concerned about but that we would watch it for a little bit and see what happened. The nurse stopped the Pitocin (which stopped my contractions), and the baby's heart-rate was just fine. But then they'd start the Pitocin again and the baby's heart-rate would drop again. The nurse and an aide came in and helped turn me on my side, and Dr. Miller would watch the monitors. Then the nurse came back in and turned me on my other side as Dr. Miller would continue to watch the monitors.
The nurse came in and turned off the monitors in my room (we're thinking this was to keep me from panicking because of how low the baby's heart-rate was getting) and said "your baby just isn't playing nice". She then said she was going to shave the lower part of my abdomen just in case Dr. Miller decided to do a C-Section. The whole time this was going on the nurse made it seem like everything was totally fine and there was nothing to worry about. But I could tell that with the look on my mom's face that there was something wrong...
Dr. Miller came into the room and explained that I had not progressed passed a 5 in the last couple of hours and that the baby's heart-rate was continuing to drop. He said that although we could continue to monitor things, that he felt that it would be best for both me and the baby to do a C-Section.
I was really nervous about having a C-Section because I hadn't researched anything about recovery for a C-Section, or what complications could possibly occur. Luckily, because I've worked in the medical field for so long, I knew exactly what they did for the procedure. I knew that James would be able to be in the room with me, and that I would be completely numb so that I wouldn't feel a thing. I also knew that I'd get to be awake so I'd know what was going on.
The nurse anesthetist told me that he'd be in the room the hold time monitoring my pain and promised that he'd have my pain under control the whole time. James got dressed from head to toe in what looked like a bio-hazard type suit and I was wheeled down the hall in my hospital bed. Dr. Miller then introduced me to another OB/GYN from Tanner Clinic named Dr. Wheelwright who would be assisting in the C-Section. The nurse anesthetist then started some antibiotics in my IV. This burned so badly and my anxiety started to heighten. He definitely saw this and gave me quite the cocktail of drugs.
I remember very little of my C-Section because of all the medication I was given, and I'm completely okay with that. I'm a wimp when it comes to pain, remember?
I remember throwing up before the procedure even started. I don't know if this was because of what was in my IV, anxiety, or a combination of the two. My sweet husband held a container for me to turn my head and throw up in. My arms were spread out so I looked like the letter "t". I also remember throwing up during the procedure. I remember James having one head on my forehead reminding me to breath and telling me that I was doing great. His other hand was holding my left hand. I remember hearing Dr. Miller say "Baby's out!". And that's about it.
I started waking up in the recovery room, and both James and my Mom were there. I asked James where the baby was and he said she was in the NICU. I began crying and said that I wanted to hold and see my baby. James let me know that he was able to hold her right after she was born before they took her to the NICU.
James then told me that our baby girl was born at 1:11 pm, weighed exactly 7 pounds, that she was 19.5 inches long, and that she had some bruising on her face. I was so confused as to why she would have any bruising but then the NICU Pediatrician came in...
The Pediatrician said that our baby girl was trying to come out face first. Usually when babies are born, they come out of the birth canal head first. Because of this, her airway was being compromised. He said that if I would've continued to try and have her vaginally that she would've died. Her little head was also wedged and stuck in my pelvis. When Dr. Miller and Dr. Wheelwright went to take her out of me, she was moving around so much that they had difficulty pulling her out. All of this contributed to why she had bruising on her face. The Pediatrician also said that her face was smooshed so her little nose was pushed up against one side of her face. He said "I THINK the bruising will go down... I THINK her nose will go back to normal..." Hearing him not know for sure was really unnerving. He then explained to me that she wasn't breathing when they pulled her out because of her airway being compromised. He told us that she'd be in the NICU for a minimum of 48 hours and that her birth was extremely traumatic for her. Because of the trauma, they weren't going to do anything other than let her rest for the day. He said that she didn't like to be touched and when she was touched her vitals would drop. He said that she was extremely tired, she had an IV, and she was also on oxygen. He said that I could see her, but that I had to be wheeled to the NICU in my bed.
James and I had discussed months before, the name of Samantha Maudell. When I asked him if she looked like a Samantha, he said yes and that was her name. My mom later told me that I really didn't look good while in the recovery room. She said the color in my face was really bad and that you could tell that I also had been through something traumatic.
The nurse wheeled me in my bed to the NICU to see Samantha. When I saw her, I smiled and cried silent tears of both happiness and worry. My little girl didn't look normal. She looked like she had been beat up. Her bruising was terrible and when I went to touch her she immediately flinched away. The nurses assured me that this was normal because of what she had just been through and that when touching her it needed to be more of a firm touch so she wouldn't flinch as badly. She had wires and tubes to help monitor her vitals and to help her recover. It was really difficult to see my baby this way. This wasn't what I had imagined at all.
I was then wheeled in my bed to a different recovery room where I'd be for the rest of my hospital stay. I was very emotional and very tired. I remember crying to James and him telling me that everything would be okay. We were told by my nurse that we could see Samantha in the NICU anytime that we wanted. Later that night James wheeled me down to the NICU where Samantha was needing to be fed. I'm so grateful for the nurse that was assigned to Samantha that night. She let James feed her and I got to hold her for the very first time.
I slept in on Sunday and was only in a little bit of pain. We had immediate family that was planning on coming to visit so I got up and got ready and headed down to the NICU to see Samantha. She was doing a lot better! She was no longer on an IV and she was on pressurized air instead of oxygen.
Later that night I was in the most pain I've ever been in. I've had kidney stones before, back injection epidurals, broken bones, etc. and I would've taken any of those over the pain that I was in. I read later that after around 18 hours, all of the meds from delivery have worn off so the pain is real and raw. It took about an hour for James to help me shower and he and my nurse got me back in bed. The nurse gave me some pain meds and James combed out my hair. After some more rest, we went and saw Samantha again.
On Monday morning the NICU Pediatrician said that Samantha was doing really well so they were going to take her off of the pressurized oxygen and see if her vitals would stay stable for the day. This was such good news! Her bruising was still noticeable but it was so good to see her without all of the wires and tubes.
She was later put under bilirubin lights to help break up the bruising and to help prevent jaundice from the bruising.
On Tuesday morning, we were informed that if Samantha passed a few tests that we would be able to take her home that day. She did really well, and we were so excited to finally be able to go home!
James and I are so grateful for Dr. Miller, Dr. Wheelwright, the NICU Pediatricians, and the nursing staff that helped us get through such a traumatic experience. To think that if Dr. Miller hadn't felt to take me for a C-Section, our little Samantha might not be here. We're also so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who we know was watching over our little family and helped answer so many prayers.
I'm grateful for such a wonderful, loving, and understanding husband. There's no way I could've gotten through this experience without James. Because Samantha was in the NICU and not in the hospital room with me, I told James he should go home and get some good rest in our bed instead of sleeping on the crappy hospital couch that was in my room. He refused and didn't leave my side. He helped me to and from the bathroom. He went and saw Samantha when I was resting. He made sure that I was eating. He helped me shower. He held me as I cried. Now that we're home I have some serious restrictions. James has done all of the laundry multiple times a day, he does the dishes, makes bottles, feeds the baby at all hours, cleans the apartment, and keeps me in line with making sure I'm following the doctors orders. Above all else, through my entire pregnancy, giving birth, and being home, he has made me feel so unconditionally loved. I couldn't ask for a better eternal companion.
And seeing him with Samantha makes me happier than I ever could've imagined. He's already such a great dad and I can't wait to make memories with my little family.
